16. Healing for the Modern Day

Do you struggle to cultivate healthy relationships? Do you find yourself falling into the same relationship patterns over and over again? In this episode of Esoteric N’ Chill, your favorite spiritual bimbo is going to be giving you some tips that will help you finally break your destructive relationship habits so that you can truly heal.

The thing is, relationships should contribute to our well-being. But unfortunately, finding the right kind of people who will support you on your journey is easier said than done. There are just SO many things that can get in the way of cultivating healthy relationships. Everything from past traumas to the desire for comfort to a lack of awareness are just a few of the obstacles that can keep us stuck.

But when you do start healing relationship patterns that have been holding you back, you’ll be surprised at how the effects multiply and touch every other aspect of your life. That’s because relationships help define who we are. Fix your relationships and your entire life will change for the better.

“You can’t have a chemical solution for a spiritual problem."
-Isabella James

Links Mentioned
👉 Tony Robbins Trauma:
https://esotericnchill.buzzsprout.com/2126470/12444874-4-tony-robbins-trauma

👉 Phi Network:
https://phi.network/

Timestamps
0:00 - Intro
2:40 - Invest in the Future (Crypto Tangent)
9:22 - Identify Your Unhealthy Relationships
14:40 - Learn How to React to Past Traumas
20:52 - Interrupt Your Patterns
22:40 - How Is This Reflecting How You Feel?
25:34 - Healthy Relationships Start With You
28:42 - Try New Things

Connect with Isabella James
1.    Podcast: https://www.instagram.com/esotericnchill/
2.    Ineedbella.com all my socials
3.    Onlybella.com Free OF

Transcript

00:00:00:05 - 00:00:30:22
Isabella
Hello. Hello. Welcome to esoteric and chill. I'm Isabella james a.k.a. Spiritual Bimbo. If you new here hi we talk about all things esoteric, including not esoteric things like plastic surgery, the adult industry, the balance between work and play and just anything ...... ... I want to talk about honestly, you know, from the name of spiritual bimbo. It's kind of ironic because if you look at me, you want to think I am how I am.

00:00:30:23 - 00:01:09:00
Isabella
But here we are. I really am. A self-development. So today, today, today we're talking about how to heal your relationship pattern. Everything we're talking about today, though, you can definitely apply to healing anything within yourself. And I then, you know, on this journey of consciously healing, I would say honestly, for five years I had my spiritual awakening. Four years ago, but all ... talked about it on other episodes and other YouTube channel videos as well.

00:01:10:04 - 00:01:38:14
Isabella
But I really, you know, bring my healing journey back to when I got all the Xanax I was prescribed to for seven years and really just like, you know, wanted to like better my life. And within that time, you know, I started getting into, like, modalities such as yoga. I got into, like, therapy and stuff like that. And at the time, too, I actually got into, like, ketamine therapy, which I actually think I can say about that.

00:01:38:15 - 00:02:01:01
Isabella
I definitely recommend they compared to like an SSRI, you know, like antidepressants and stuff like that. But at the end of the day, you can't have a chemical solution for a spiritual problem. So, you know, you also can just like meditate everything out as much as I want, like a huge ... meditation advocate our traumas like wired in our body.

00:02:01:01 - 00:02:20:21
Isabella
That's the thing. So as much as, you know, like I said, and it's also, you know, they say you can't talk it out. But that's the thing. Like personally, like my quote therapist I have is like, we're doing things on like a quantum level, Like we're doing something like deep fucking healing. And it's not just like talk therapy, which I honestly don't agree with.

00:02:20:21 - 00:02:44:18
Isabella
I would never go to a coach, therapist, whatever you want to call. All that has like actually had a degree and stuff like that because that's the same concept to me. It's like going to college and, you know, to each their own. But I'm just not into it. Just like I'm not into traditional quote investments. I'm like, really into decentralized autonomous economy, like phi network.

00:02:44:19 - 00:03:05:23
Isabella
..... not to sponser but just, you know, a small tangent has nothing literally to do with what we're talking about today. But I you know, I've been kind of like speeding through my previous podcast i do just want to kind of, you know, shoot the shit and everything. And I'm just so happy and find so much purpose as I get more and more involved with the phi network.

00:03:05:23 - 00:03:23:01
Isabella
Because to me, it's like I know that my purpose in life has always been to help other people. You know, I've had like a very, like, colorful life. So it has like, meant so much to me, you know, creating more of a brand for myself compared to just doing onlyfans. Hi. Hello. Sponsoring myself by my only fans.

00:03:23:02 - 00:03:41:16
Isabella
I need bella.com Check it out. But it's like I have so much more purpose and like, that's why I, you know, experience a life that I have so that I can show others that, you know, they can get through anything. Like I can do it. You can .... .... it, you can, you know, like literally like it makes it seem like I'm kind of like down.

00:03:41:16 - 00:04:03:08
Isabella
And I was like, no, like, I just know how fucking different I used to be and like, how far I really come from that and how far I want to keep going. And that's why I like inspired this episode as well, is just, you know, growth in general and like where I'm at with my healing journey. But all of that has to, you know, goes back to the future and really investing in myself for the future.

00:04:03:08 - 00:04:20:12
Isabella
And tonight I just was like thinking like, wow, I love just being ahead of everything, you know, like I had with my content. I'm ahead with my investment and just really thinking about the future in the most like loving, ordering way. Because most of time we like our whole, you know, it's like, oh, stay in the present moment and stuff like that.

00:04:20:12 - 00:04:35:19
Isabella
And it's like, or you would freak out about the future, like in a fear based way. But it's like when you're investing into new technologies and like taking a risk I put in air quotes because everything's a fucking risk at the end of the day, you know what I mean? Like going outside if you get hit by a fucking car.

00:04:36:02 - 00:04:57:15
Isabella
But that's like if you think of it in that way. But if you're like, you realize really where the world going or, you know, you can just like listen to the news and da da da we know where that go, but that's not like, you know, esoteric and chill is really all about is like getting into the weird shit that isn't mainstream and like the shit that's actually going on, you know?

00:04:57:15 - 00:05:14:13
Isabella
So just my little random, you know, crypto tangent than to .... ... you but ... thing about like what my purpose is because it's like I really want everybody to win. I really want everyone to have an abundant, wealthy future. And it's like so many people, maybe like not everybody. Yes, like in the world that we fucking live in

00:05:14:13 - 00:05:36:09
Isabella
We live in an abundant, amazing, infinite, literally an infinite fucking universe. Like we're just a tiny little fucking stardust in the spectrum of our many, many lives that we have had. And being alive right now on Earth, school is like literally such a blessing because we're able to just like quantum leap through our sowing our karma and just like shift

00:05:36:09 - 00:05:55:17
Isabella
So many different timelines that like in past lives we weren't able to do like as effectively and as quickly. And it's like just such a blessing. And just like where we are going is like humanity, like transcending into like a more five d reality and just more like if you're not familiar, five D It's just like manifesting from a more just like love instead of like duality and all of that.

00:05:55:17 - 00:06:11:16
Isabella
we live in a three D world and then like we have transcendent a more four D reality, which is, you know, all we're like, But it's more it's like conspiracy theories and like, just like questioning, you know, reality, which is like really beautiful because that's really where you need to go. And I feel like I kind of, like mortified.

00:06:11:21 - 00:06:35:04
Isabella
I'm like back to like fourty but like, not in a bad way, you know, because that's the thing my like kind of saying is like the dimensional lifestyle because like, we are able to live and manifest in different dimension and different shifts of our own reality and not like in the spiritual life can be a freak too. I really, honestly, using the term spiritual, I prefer to say conscious, but spiritual bimbo this felt good.

00:06:36:04 - 00:07:10:09
Isabella
So yeah, to wrap up the whole crypto thing, I just, you know, me being such a stand for the phi network is completely fucking organic. Like, I just, I literally just feel like it was the missing piece in my story and just like where I want to go and like the bigger picture things and does the last like two months, like I've really just been able to hone in on like what I'm calling in for the future and like, everything just feels so right and I'm just so grateful to have like an amazing team behind me and just rock it and emoji everything.

00:07:10:09 - 00:07:39:14
Isabella
Y'all just fucking level up. And I really hope that everyone who is listening, watching this is taking the love and support of the universe right now. Like just all the, like astrological support or all the just metaphysical support, all the, all the everything. That's the thing too. Like recessions, like recession. But it's like. And you know, you know, you know, like motherfucking even Tony Robbins talks about it as much as, you know, shout out to my Tony Tony Robbins trauma I think episode fucking three or something like that.

00:07:39:22 - 00:07:59:08
Isabella
Um, and now and um, but you know, you sad like in the winter season, which is like the recession when things are slower and money is lower, when I realized that's actually the best time to build as within concept of what, you know, stocks are down when market's down. And I were like, That's the time to fucking buy like buy low, sell high like a low.

00:07:59:13 - 00:08:23:22
Isabella
I know. I'm like a financial expert by any fucking means, but that's just it's like commonsence Anyways, let's get into what we're talking about. Right. So yes. How do you your relationship patterns, this is something like I mentioned, I'm like studying right now and really, you know, putting my intention and energy into because as you know, I was taking a couple of months and everything all from dating or anything like that.

00:08:23:22 - 00:08:46:12
Isabella
And right now I'm just like really, you know, focusing on healing the patterns that I have become aware of and, you know, really being able to show up for myself and then like obviously like any partner in my life. But it's like I live with everything. It always starts with our self So, you know, I've been so grateful to have people in my life that have been helping me like, reflect and see the things that I haven't been able to seeing just in my own self reflection.

00:08:47:05 - 00:09:08:17
Isabella
But then it's like I do see it and it's like literally, like they saved everything. I bring it back to like addiction cause that's why it's like the biggest, it's like ninty % awareness, you know? And then the other ten % is actually doing it, which sounds so crazy because, like, we are literally rewiring our patterns and everything, but it's like once we are aware of something, we're able to like notice that more and more.

00:09:08:17 - 00:09:31:14
Isabella
And so it's like now that like I'm aware of like how much I truly like Project Project and like, actually, like, assume things. I notice that all the time. And so it's like once I notice that I can do like a pattern interrupt anyways, we'll get into all that. So yeah, so the first part with like identifying, so like I thought it is like kind of challenging sometimes to us to like personally, just like identify without having like, you know, people in our lives.

00:09:31:14 - 00:09:47:15
Isabella
And that's what it is. It's like it is so much easier to be on your own all the time, but then you don't really have like the amazing quantum healing and quantum leaps and, you know, timeline shifts that you are able to when you're in a relationship not like eso or this romantic like, you know, friendship like anything like that family and stuff like that.

00:09:47:23 - 00:10:10:05
Isabella
And it's like very beautiful. Just describe yourself with people who are on a healing journey as well. So, you know, you can feel like a safe place and everything to have that reflection. And, you know, like, trust me, it sounds like, okay, like who the fuck is like that? But like, there are people out there, like, it's so sick, you know, because it's like I spent months my life honestly, just like, doing everything on my own and like I said, I started my journey like five years ago.

00:10:11:17 - 00:10:38:21
Isabella
But even so much in my healing journey, I was in like, very, like, abusive situation. So it's like when you're still, like, surviving. And while it's a first time that actually admitted that I was still like, in survival mode to a point for the I'm talking about this relationship. I had really two years with my ex. We've been broken up for about a year and a half now, but he was still in my life or up until a couple of months ago, honestly.

00:10:39:05 - 00:10:54:20
Isabella
And you know, we'd be quote, friends that everything. But he was still just like consistently, like manipulating me. And obviously he wasn't abusing me in the same way that he was when we were together. But like, still like having him in my life. And I think I mentioned already before to just like had him out of my life.

00:10:54:20 - 00:11:12:10
Isabella
The universe just keeps fucking blessing me. Like in, sane all the ..... ... .... .... sooner anyway the whole point is like when you're still in survival mode, you know and I look back to more like when I was like actually in survival mode or like, you know, I didn't have money for food and stuff like that sometimes, or like stable living situations and all that.

00:11:12:18 - 00:11:35:03
Isabella
You really are able to you're not able to like, heal at that level, you know, And that's it. Like, I remember when I was in therapy, you know, back like four years ago, and like I said, I was like, oh, yeah, I'm like in my thing. And it's like I had some trauma happen with ..... getting arrested and, you know, my therapist is just like, well, you kind of got it.

00:11:35:14 - 00:11:50:18
Isabella
You know, it's like, you're right here. It's like where you can, like, do the healing, but like, when you're down here, it's like you got to focus on just getting back up to, like that point. So you can either truly heal. There is all that is like even like being in like my spiritual journey and everything like that and like I was so meditating doing breath work.

00:11:50:18 - 00:12:16:05
Isabella
I was doing all of the things and doing the best I could at the time. Like I wasn't able to, like, truly heal. Um, I was actively because I still was like, you know, that getting into too much detail, like I, you know, the term walking on eggshells absolutely come to mind where, you know, every single day it was like I had to be like very strategic with how I interacted with him, unfortunately.

00:12:16:05 - 00:12:32:08
Isabella
And I, you know, I'm just and I look back at it and I'm like, what? The kind of like spiritual bypass trauma that I had, unfortunately, and be like, oh, it wasn't that bad, but like, it really was bad, you know? But like, I normalize and it's like, oh, well, like making money, like doing this and that. It well, it wasn't as bad as past situations.

00:12:32:08 - 00:12:51:08
Isabella
And that's like really where we, you know, don't we just bypass our shit and like, we have to, like, you know, admit to ourselves that, like, these were bad situations without putting yourself like in a victim mode where it's like, this was shitty and I didn't deserve that. But it's not like, Oh my God, I like this happen to me.

00:12:51:08 - 00:13:10:16
Isabella
Like no happened for me still. But to recognize like, that wasn't, you know, quite ..... turn normal, you know. But like, for example, you know, I had a very colorful life. And it's interesting to that, you know, I have like friends that I talk to you and I'm like, yeah, I've been home invaded before. Like, oh, my God, You know, even I'm like, oh, I was like, everything was good.

00:13:10:16 - 00:13:28:17
Isabella
I had a gun holding my head like nothing happened. That's not normal, you know? But as I talked to some people and that's like, you know, they're not like, oh, that's that's awesome, right? They were like, Yeah, you know, not really like, Yeah. And, but it's like they've had, you know, just as colorful stuff happen. So it's like, not as, like, shocking to them.

00:13:29:02 - 00:13:49:04
Isabella
So it's like, but really does honoring, but that doesn't mean that was okay. You know, it doesn't mean that like I deserved that to happen. And that wasn't like traumatic. Anyways, as an example, um, you know, they say there's like big a big T trial and little T trauma. Like little t trauma, like, you know, someone stole your fucking ball at school and, you know, then cu traumas like, like what I did, much like being home and stuff like that.

00:13:49:12 - 00:14:11:23
Isabella
So that ...... .. identified. The biggest thing of like for me right now was like, I'm working with, like my projection that like a lot of times like I, I'm not present with like what's actually going on and I react from a past trauma, like literally it's insane. Like, and I know that's not just me. It's like so many other people too.

00:14:12:06 - 00:14:36:17
Isabella
So it's like, Oh, makes you feel better. But like, I don't give a fuck I'm like, lets change. this you know, So it's like being able to identify when these things happen and just like it create that space. And it's not always comes back to like creating that space of like, okay, what's actually happening right now, you know, And this is like how I've been able to keep myself in body as well instead of like, you know, I used to be that queen disassociation and that too.

00:14:36:17 - 00:15:09:23
Isabella
It's like the more the more the more you identify with that. Like with depression .... anxiety or like, oh, I always disassociate. You're going to only disassociate. So it's like even when I'm like in an unfavorable, uncomfortable emotional situation with myself or somebody else, I really just focus on being a body because it's like I like I said, like I'm not living in a like, trauma survival mode whatsoever now, but things that are coming up that are for my learning, I mean, I've been through a lot but that are uncomfortable as fuck for me.

00:15:09:23 - 00:15:28:00
Isabella
Like does put me in a trauma spot sometimes because that's what like my body's like, used to and it's like, you know, working with that energy and being like, okay, but this is that, you know, this isn't how it is anymore. I'm not even kidding. Like last night I had some like people over and stuff like that and I was like, sleeping.

00:15:28:00 - 00:15:44:19
Isabella
And it's like I heard, you know, like, I heard thousand. Everything I knew, like, everything was fine, but like, past version of me, like it was even that I was like, creating these stories with, like, you know what I'm saying? My body's wired. And for, you know, the past. And it was like, okay, Like it was like reacting.

00:15:44:19 - 00:16:00:02
Isabella
I was like, getting really bad because I was, like, reacting. I was, you know, in the past was like, what shit was going on? And it's like I was, you know, mentally as final, like, do like nothing's going on. Like, everything's safe, like, everything's fine, like, mostly. And it's like also just hearing, you know, random sounds and stuff like that.

00:16:01:11 - 00:16:23:16
Isabella
So but it's like it was really great because I was really able to work through that energy and like, create, you know, it's all about like the mind body connection and being able to really just, you know, observe those, those sensations and know like this is to me it's like when I have sensations and I'm like, okay, my body is processing, my body like rewiring because it's like these thoughts and like, what's going on?

00:16:23:16 - 00:16:41:05
Isabella
It's like it's not the same. So it's like it's rewiring, It's all this and it's beautiful and it's, it's very exhausting. I'll be real like I've been so exhausted lately from it, but in the most amazing, loving way because like, I was just doing all these, like quantum fucking shifts and like, just cellular upgrade and it's like, whoo

00:16:41:09 - 00:17:08:08
Isabella
You know, Because it's like, I've, I've been living my life for so long, like a certain way, and it's like ........ identify, like, even, like, I literally, like, realize like in and when I was in rehab when I was a teenager, I was like, really? I would say like, I don't need to be there because there's this part of me that feels shameful for like using drugs in the past, like kind of like, you know, but to do like that, yeah, dude, I fucking didn't use drugs and now I don I'm fucking badass sober bitch, so whatever.

00:17:08:14 - 00:17:26:07
Isabella
Even using the term sober though, because it's like I did, it's like I would love to admit I had, like, a drug problem, but it's like I had a drug solution. I'm just kidding. That was terrible. No go with. I really was never like, an addict. Like I was just around the wrong people. That was like the story of my, like, more colorful life.

00:17:26:07 - 00:17:43:23
Isabella
I was just around the wrong people a lot saying I didn't do dumb thing. I'm not taking like, accountability for that, but I wasn't like, stealing shit and everything. I mean, like that's in that I did do some, like, questionable shit, but it wasn't like I wasn't in the lifestyle, you know? It's like I would hang out with, like, dope addicts and then I'd be like, Y'all are still doing this.

00:17:43:23 - 00:18:07:00
Isabella
I'm like, I'm bored. I don't want to be tired all the time. Like, are sick, you know? Anyway, anyway, so, yeah. Okay. So back in rehab, they literally taught us like being passive aggressive. Basically, we like the key though, that plug when it's like, not it, but like, for example, they're like if somebody is doing something that you don't like, you just like, go along with it and then later on you get back with them and give them feedback.

00:18:07:00 - 00:18:31:18
Isabella
And I'm like, I would like that to literally be passive aggressive though, and you should have just said something in the moment and it's like, I understand if you like, you're heated in the moment to like, you know, take back or whatever. And I feel like that's probably like kind of what they're getting out. But it's like also like it what it's not at the same time, you know, it's like really dealing with, like, manage your emotions and not react from your emotion and be able to react from just, you know, like what is actually going on.

00:18:31:22 - 00:19:03:06
Isabella
And that's why was like mentioning earlier is like just being aware of like what is actually going on. Because like with me, I literally like being a loving situation, you know, like things and I'll be like, What do you mean? And, you know, like, and it's what honestly, I'm doing so good because it's like I am able to observe the thoughts and so much of the thoughts where I just don't even like, I'm like, that's not what's going going on.

00:19:03:12 - 00:19:35:15
Isabella
And it's like, Wow, I really just been living my life like this and like I've been aware of this in the past, you know, because of like, like I started in like five years and I've been in a lot of relationships and, you know, interactions with other like that. And but a lot of the times the people I was with are just be like, You're being a brat or like, you know, just like it wasn't for my higher learning, my higher healing, unfortunately, you know, like here I am and I'm so grateful so that the way you identify the things that we do when we project, when we just like create this like false narrative

00:19:35:15 - 00:20:00:14
Isabella
of false reality, it's like in reality, like we're literally manifesting for fear because spirit's false, false evidence appearing real. So it's like when we create this like narrative that is an assumption or something that somebody is like acting a certain way because of our past experiences, we're actually manifesting for fear instead of like when we just focus on being present, like we truly are able to manifest more from the love frequency because love is present.

00:20:01:08 - 00:20:25:02
Isabella
Boom, I'm on it. Okay, so yeah, doing different patterns, pattern interrupt, doing things differently, you know, taking a moment to pause. And my big thing is like, not like listening, just to respond. And it's like, I hate to do that because I like to just be like a truly active listener. And sometimes I would just go in conscious and it's like, we're not even listening, and then we're just like, Oh, want to respond?

00:20:25:02 - 00:20:39:03
Isabella
Like, want to get ours, you know? And it's like and so, like, don't feel bad about ......... I'm saying so many people do it on a meaning that I do it and they make me a bad person. And like today I was talking to a new friend and she like I was telling her, you know, just kind of like helping with, like, mindset and stuff like that.

00:20:39:03 - 00:20:52:14
Isabella
I was like, But don't get it twisted. Like, I struggle to, you know, And I was talking about like kind of the things aren't talking about like, oh, I wouldn't you know, you got me fooled. I'm like, That's why I'm being real. dude Because I'm not going to sit here and be like all this fucking perfect, you know, human.

00:20:52:14 - 00:21:15:02
Isabella
That is like where it gotten through all my walking. No, absolutely not. You know, and it's like being able to be, like, responsible, like, radically fucking responsible for our own actions. .... like, Yeah, dude, I did do that. Like, you're right, I did do that. And, like, that is toxic or like, that is like me. Like just dude, I just be going unconscious, you know?

00:21:15:02 - 00:21:45:15
Isabella
Like, but I'm saying it's about that awareness because some people are living completely unconsciously on fucking autopilot and just are not aware of the fucking terrible shit that they're doing are like the projections that they're doing or just like, I'm not taking on the shitty person but alott of..... shitty people. On the first of all, it's all .... also, just like not even aware of it because it's like, you know, societal conditioning and just people being sleepwalking and not, you know, actually being in their bodies and ........ associate of working without being body.

00:21:45:15 - 00:22:09:12
Isabella
Y'all know that my Jam twenty, twenty three lets go Okay, so yeah, how is this reflecting how you feel inside? This is so great because you know everything like our awareness, our reality, literally like a holographic projection of our internal world. And for example, like I notice I was like, Oh man, this person is like, I would love for them to be a little bit more compassionate with me.

00:22:09:23 - 00:22:29:16
Isabella
And I was like, okay, what? Like, that's because I need to be more compassionate with myself. And I'm also I struggle sometimes be compassionate with others, which are like, What the fuck likethis bitch is vegan, you know, like, but it's not bad. It's not that I feel because I am I have empathy, right? So it's like I feel so for other people, but like compassion.

00:22:29:16 - 00:22:49:13
Isabella
.... Like, and that's what I'm saying. Even with myself, I'm like, okay, you know, cool. I've come so far. Why am I not doing better? Like fucking go, you know? And it's like and I feel that with like other people too, or they like to complain about certain. I'm like, and you know, and it's like and so that's the reflection that I'm getting from other people where it's like the same shit, where it's like, okay, cool.

00:22:49:13 - 00:23:09:01
Isabella
And, you know, like, okay, you're not trying. You're doing like and it's like finding that like soft space between, like the mass healing and the feminine, like healing way, you know, because it's like for me personally, it's like I .... somewhat more like in my mouth you in most of my life, because that sort of like, felt safe to be there.

00:23:09:07 - 00:23:39:17
Isabella
But it's like in reality, it's like, I feel my best when I'm like, you know, manifesting more my, like, feminine, you know, even with my business , like just being ... like the flow and everything. But then it's like with healing and everything. It to me, it's like I do need a little bit more of a strong push not to like, hate myself into being successful, but like, hey, like I, you know, I'm sick of my own bullshit and like my healer therapist, whatever, she'll be like, Oh, that's not know thats not loving terminology or like, but it works for me, dude, because you kind of not to be sick of your own bullshit.

00:23:39:17 - 00:23:57:07
Isabella
I'm like, whatever fucking way you want. I'm like, What? What else? How you could say it. Like, I do not want to be manifesting for the fear frequency ... ... .. .. .... .. ...... and all that. But to me it just works and just works like I'm sick of my own bullshit. I'm sick of it being this way, you know?

00:23:57:07 - 00:24:15:07
Isabella
And it's like being able to hit like an emotional rock bottom and then be able to transcend from that. And, you know, so like the diamond. The diamond, you know, it's created from pressure boom gotta put a lil bit pressure on yaself and be like, I want to fucking change. And you know, like, honestly, I pray. I pray like I'm like, God, please let me not project.

00:24:15:07 - 00:24:38:13
Isabella
So much like, God, please let me not, like, go unconscious and like, be like rude is blocked somehow. I like. But then you got to take the, you know, action as well. It's the same thing. You can just that like this is what I was what I desire. First of all, it's can keep you from it because, you know, I mean when you tell the universe you desire or something, it's like it's not yours, but reality, everything is happening at the same time.

00:24:38:13 - 00:25:07:05
Isabella
It's just aligning yourself about reality that frequently let go. So yeah, take time. Do you like that's a thing As much as like I love I'm like, ... ........ ......... I love like inner-personal communication or personal connection, but I love being by myself. I love it. And I literally just had like so many, like epiphanies about everything and it's like, so sick.

00:25:07:05 - 00:25:28:14
Isabella
It was like literally, like, I'm so grateful for the time that I spent by myself, you know, because, like, like that's when we're truly able to grow and like, we are able to have those fucking aha moments like that. Like you have to be comfortable with being by yourself or you're not really comfortable being other people. And I talk I talk about that in the episode before.

00:25:28:15 - 00:25:52:13
Isabella
That's about like being alone versus lonely or like whatever, like a ,,,, title it but you really do and you really have to just learn to love yourself. And it's like I said, easier. You know, I don't either. So that definitely creating that negative narrative with that. But it's like it's just that bitch, you have to do it, you know?

00:25:52:13 - 00:26:10:14
Isabella
And it's like doesn't take someone who's like, literally, I fucking like, hated myself when I felt like everything like that. Like I deserved like, wah wah wah bitch im the baby dude, you know, I mean, it's like I come so far to not to not be how it is. I could have just say wrap clothes right now. I'm funny

00:26:10:14 - 00:26:30:19
Isabella
Okay. Anyway, But yeah, it's like what's nothing is going to work out if you don't believe in yourself. And I still struggle. It's I'm saying like I still have my days where I'm just like, What the fuck? You know what it's like. It's really like surrounding yourself with people that like, it's. It's from ... rapper Rise, big fan.

00:26:31:15 - 00:26:44:16
Isabella
He's like, very motivational. He's just like, you have to have at least one person that believes any more than you believe in yourself. And it's like up until this point, I've never had people like that. I'm like, I'll be real not to like, discount any of the people that have been in my life that have helped me succeed.

00:26:44:16 - 00:27:06:12
Isabella
But I really havent. You know, like I said, like I spent like a good two years of like my first like making like my first, like, huge amounts of money and stuff like that with somebody who, like, did it was like jealous of me, literally i dated so many people. I've had so many people just in my circle that were like, jealous of me and like, I don't like to think that way, but like, literally that's how it was, you know?

00:27:06:12 - 00:27:21:00
Isabella
So it's like they really weren't like, hyping me up and believing in me. Like in the way that a partner or someone in your friend circle should be. Because, like, let me tell you, I'd be hyping all these motherfuckers up you know what I mean? Like anybody who, like in my life, I'm like, Dude, like, get it, queen, get it king

00:27:21:00 - 00:27:40:04
Isabella
Like lets fucking go, like, that's all fucking win And that's the kind of energy that you truly need. You know, like I said, I've accomplished so much and I've come so far, like by myself. And it feels so good to have like, so much love and support in my life. And I'm just so grateful. And anybody who's listening that's that doesn't feel like they have it, like, trust me, coming from someone, we didn't have it.

00:27:40:04 - 00:28:02:11
Isabella
The majority of the fucking life you will get it, you know, just focus on you and focus on just being a better person and loving yourself more. That's really what it is. So trying new things, that's what we're going to. And. And I'll try new fucking things. Try new fucking situations, try new fucking people. Try just doing things that definitely, you know, like it's not going to fucking hurt.

00:28:02:12 - 00:28:21:13
Isabella
Like everything, like is about trial and trial and error and really figuring out like, what works for you. And it's like, dont knock it till you try it, you know, it's like there's so much resistance like it's like certain things because it's like the ego really wants us to fucking stay in this life discomfort zone and it's like that's, you know, it's like, oh, seek discomfort.

00:28:21:13 - 00:28:38:10
Isabella
But like in reality it's like, I want like that the process is in the pain, you know, like it's really is finding that stuff that like, like I said, this shit that's like, I'll sit here like, yeah, this is really what I need to know. But the ego, like, because I fucking know you're going to fucking up level and chef.

00:28:38:10 - 00:29:02:00
Isabella
So it's like when you are in those moments like me, it's like, I know if I'm kind of having like a just a down day for no reason, I'm like, I want to level the fuck up, cause let me tell you to. It's fucking Gemini season, Mercury Retrograde Shadow right now. And I'm recording this and I've had so many people from my past, like in like a literally couple day period hit me up like, while I put them on a group chat so they can, like, gang bang each other anyways.

00:29:03:06 - 00:29:28:12
Isabella
But it's like when that kind of stuff happens, always like, you know, when you're your happiest, but it's also when the universe is like, okay, are you sure you don't want to be this house version of yourself? I said, Yes, I am motherfucking sure, Dad, give it to me. You're like, I did deactivated my personal Facebook because it's like more like a metaphysical, you know, like shutting of like who I used to be or it's like, I'm like, literally none of these people matter to me whatsoever.

00:29:28:19 - 00:29:41:02
Isabella
I had no interest in any of them, and none of them are feeding me with who I want to be. And it's like it's a lot to do that because I know a lot of people just like hold on to their path. I'm like, What are people who care? I don't give a fuck, I don't hot any of these people.

00:29:41:08 - 00:30:00:15
Isabella
So why would like, why does it matter? What do I have to prove to them? Because they're never truly friends anyways, you know? And I feel like a lot of us can look back and make that same reflection. so its like when you let go, like the universe knows that you're ready to be filled up with something one day, you know, that's like what you want.

00:30:01:01 - 00:30:19:12
Isabella
Then you got to do definitely you got to change things. You gotta align with what your it's happening to call in for yourself. You know, it's like a very disintegrates to ourselves when it's like we're like, Oh, I want to do this, and then we just don't do it, you know? And it's like, I know it takes it's that initial leap of faith that we all have within ourselves, or it's like our little gem.

00:30:19:23 - 00:30:37:04
Isabella
And then you just start ................ gym and then you fucking keep going to the gym and it's so fucking great. And then you just things keep getting better because it's not only like, Yeah, you're working out, it's not, you know, you don't mean like given all of it, but it's that you aligned with your integrity with what you wanted to call into the wall.

00:30:37:10 - 00:30:55:22
Isabella
That's a beautiful thing. To me. It's like kind of like relationship, whatever. But just like our patterns within ourselves, like creating those patterns interrupt and like, just continuously being on the healing journey. And I really hope this helps you in some capacity. I appreciate you so much. Thank you. Thank you. That you're being part of this amazing journey.

00:30:56:03 - 00:30:59:21
Isabella
Remember, you can be anything you want to be, so make it good bye.